There isn’t much about me that I would say stands out from the crowd. I feel like, at this point in my life, I’m pretty average. And I am not ashamed of that. But one thing I have learned to be true is that I overthink and over analyze everything. Even the most simple things in my daily life can become the world’s biggest deal in a matter of minutes. It’s not something I am proud of, but it is something I have grown to accept.
If you are not someone who deals with this issue, it can be quite difficult to understand someone who does. So here are just a few things I feel you should know.
Overthinking or over reacting is not a disease.
There is no cure. It is a mindset. And though I understand that it is all in my head, it’s not something I can just stop doing. It takes discipline and quite a bit of self-control to keep it from taking over my entire life. My brain reacts differently from most people. Simple matters tend to get very dramatic, very quickly around me.
It is a mindset, and because of that, I am aware that I am doing it. I do not need “professional help.” I don’t need you to tell me that I am doing it. I understand what it is, and unlike you, I know what is causing it. I also under that it can be frustrating, but it is a part of who I am.
It bothers me just as much, if not more than it bothers you. Just because I am aware that I am doing it and I continue doing it, does not mean I enjoy doing it. I would rather not have to deal with it at all.
We all have characteristics and qualities that we look for in the people we share our time with. Because I tend to overthink things and analyze a situation until I am blue in the face, I need to surround myself with people that are patient and caring and understand the way I react. I don’t want to be around people that constantly bringing me down because of it.
The thing is, I overthink things because of various situations in my life that have caused me to react the way I do. Between the pressures and the issues I have faced, my mind can play tricks on me. I feel that I need to determine what the worst case scenario is so I can be prepared. It may not be a healthy reaction, but that does not mean I am crazy. I can’t even begin to count the number of times people have asked me if I’m crazy because of the way I react. I need validation and support in sometimes the most basic tasks. It is nerve wracking, but it happens.
There is a certain kind of emotional toll overthinking can have on a person. It’s difficult to let things go. It’s difficult to be comfortable and know that everything is alright. It is difficult for me to accept things as they are because I always fear something may be wrong. But I’m not insecure. I know who I am and I’m okay with that. I’m uncertain of whether I want to be this person or if I should change. Part of overthinking is never allowing your brain to stop questioning the way things are. Even though I know exactly who I am and exactly what I want to do, I am still uncertain of whether I am doing the right thing. It has caused me to become very indecisive.
Overthinking has caused one positive though. When it comes to what I can accomplish, there are no limits. Because I literally explore everything. It has made me a better writer because I don’t limit myself. I write about anything and everything. I do my best to write about things that I am passionate about and that I have a strong opinion on. I don’t write for the sake of writing. Sometimes I can go weeks without writing because I want to give my very best effort to writing about things that mean something to me. That way, when I go back and analyze I will actually care and try to make it the best I can.
Yes, I overthink things. Yes, I can be a handful. But it isn’t all bad. I am aware that I do it, but keep in mind it’s not my favorite thing about myself. It makes me question who I am and if I am doing the right thing, which isn’t always the worst thing. It causes me to really think about things and be mindful of the people I surround myself with. I’m not necessarily proud of my tendency to overthink, but I’m not ashamed of it either.
